Ceitci's Blog

Don't Cap Your Own Capacity

2011-06-17T00:52:00.000-07:00

“Well I’m and artist in ministry. I’ll always be scraping by financially. That’s okay. I just have to get used to living with three people in a tiny apartment. I just have to be ok with timing my creativity around their schedules so it’s not interrupted. I can survive hitching rides and borrowing computers. It’s all in the name of art and justice so I can suck it up and scrape by!” This was a normal thought process for me. That was until I picked up the book Smart Talk by Lou Tice. In this book my martyr-minded thoughts were placed on the chopping block and hacked to pieces. This wasn’t about the “prosperity gospel” it was about claiming the lifestyle and tools I needed to serve and bless other people at the capacity I was meant to!

As I read my mind began to take on a new form. Suddenly I began to see things from a different perspective. Instead of thinking, “Oh well I don’t need that, I can scrape by just fine,” I started thinking “No I need that because I could reach so many more people with that space, that tool, that vehicle!” What if I had a room to myself? How much more writing or art or ideas could I create than I could tripping over other peoples stuff, having polite conversations with the constant stream of people coming in and out of our apartment, and piling my artwork in one corner of the apartment that I pray no one touches. How many more people could I bless if I could easily get to service projects, give people rides, get to important meetings in my own car instead of bumming rides and spending twice as much time waiting for a bus? How many more designs, blogs, newsletters and scripts could I come up with if I had a nice laptop instead of borrowed computers that cut off the internet every 10min or freeze up when 2 browser windows are open?

I don’t want to upgrade and expand my lifestyle to be selfish and to gain status and fame, I want to upgrade so that I can do more for people. This was just the beginning of my journey into the Smart Talk world and already my blood was running a little faster; doing laps around my imagination. I began to envision the simple uncluttered and efficient lifestyle that I could have- that I would have- so I could better fight injustice and rescue those gripped by cruel fists. What about you? Are there limitations you’ve been putting on yourself because you feel like it’d be selfish to want more? If you are motivated by love, don't cap your own capacity.

-Jewel Hargrove

CDM Teammate

Cultivating Passion

2011-05-09T16:27:00.000-07:00

Deliver those who are being taken away to death!
And those who are staggering to slaughter! Oh hold them back!!! | Proverbs 24:11

“Wrecked again.” This could have come after a trip to Bulgaria, or a conference, or sitting across the table from someone who has experienced the horrors of trafficking first hand. It’s like someone dissected our heart, found the deepest corner that cries for the blood & tears of our brothers & sisters, & marked it with caution tape so we’d remember it’s location. But somehow the to-do list beckons us away from that crime scene. Stresses & worries that have to do with our lives & our priorities take us on a long leisurely walk away. Far away from the outlines drawn around the bodies & real human bloodstains in that taped-off corner. Thinking more about ourselves & our lives doesn’t make their pain cease to exist any more than pulling covers over our heads makes the darkness disappear. We’ve all experienced this slow drain of passion. How do we cultivate a consistent, daily desire for justice & rescue? A passion that isn’t numbed by comfort or muted by daily tasks?

Hunt down the truth. Human trafficking, orphans, widows, shrapnel-hit-hearts are all around us. In other countries & in our own city. We must take a crash course on what exactly is going on, where it is happening, & who we can join that is already fighting. Books, internet, documentaries, events. What makes you take the time to gather knowledge? A coffee meeting with someone who knows, or time penciled on your calendar to read a book? Whatever it is, do it!

Choose your battleground. I am one. I can’t rescue the sex slaves and the child soldiers and the labor victims. As much as I’d like to think my limpid eyes can span the globe breaking chains with their dazzling light, I’m not a super hero. I had to decide which group of precious people had my heart. Sex trafficking makes me want to rend my own flesh more than anything. Done. Where? 80% of Europe’s sex trade victims come from Bulgaria. That is unacceptable. There must be real wreckage in the mindsets, economy & beating-flesh-hearts of that country. This is where I will fight. What territory has God marked for your heart?

Wreck your world. God wants us to live an abundant life, & that includes enjoying blessings He douses our lives. Blessings like relishing moments we can lie in the grass & breathe in beauty as sunlight particles dissolve into our skin. But those moments are gifts along the way, not things we should be spending most of our time & effort to acquire. He will see that we have rest & refreshment because He’s crazy about us. But our purpose is not to hunt for those moments, rather, to fight for those who don’t even know what those moments look like. Those who have never felt a flower stem between their fingertips or laid in the shade while someone reads them poetry, because all they’ve ever known is four dull grey walls and the string of men that flow endlessly in & out of their room & their body. Our lifestyle must become the glorious wreckage of what it once was. We’ve run aground on reality & we can’t take all those pointless extras with us. The blueprints God has given us don’t include schematics for the “American Dream.”

Hone our gifts. Who are you? An actor? A businessman? A speaker? An artist? An author? A counselor? You didn’t create those gifts & passions, God did. But He’s asked us to focus our gifts & passions on two things, & two things only: Love God. Love people. Anything in our lives that doesn’t fall into those categories will only dilute our dedication to them.

Most of all, above all, hunt His heart & grab a hold until your heartbeat can’t help but drum out it’s rhythm. Believe me, when you experience the vivid sunset-pulse of His love tailored to your heart, nothing will stifle the desire to connect others with that same, extravagant, life-surging love & freedom. Fighting for them may simply begin by taking steps to cultivate the passion in your own heart.

Incessant Trust

2011-03-30T15:50:00.000-07:00

The book of Ruth is truly inspiring. I love this part in the story that occurs right after Boaz has agreed to go ask the "closer relative" if he will relinquish his marrying rights. Everything is up in the air right now. He needs permission from this other man or no marriage between him and Ruth will take place.

Ruth 3:18 Then she (Naomi, Ruth's mother in law) said, “Wait, my daughter, until you know how the matter turns out; for the man will not rest until he has settled it today.”

The Hebrew word for WAIT is yashab: to dwell, remain, sit, abide.

The commentary goes on to say: this is often the most difficult part of faith- when no more action can be taken and nothing remains but to wait patiently for God to work out His will. It is at this moment that doubts arise and anxiety creeps in.

Will you allow God to work this lesson in your life? He is asking you, "Will You trust Me and just abide with Me when there is nothing else you can do in the situation? Will You let go and just be with Me? Will you belive that I have good things in store for you My beloved?"

What an incredible quality to posses: a incessant trust. Every moment a moment of restfully being with Him because…well…He loves me.

The Ultimate Prayer Partner

2011-03-24T14:55:00.000-07:00

I've been focusing in on Romans 8. This chapter has so much wealth in it that I could spend a week on each verse if I wanted to. Powerful phrases that we hear all the time as Christians show up in this chapter.

"All things work together for good to those who love God."

"If God is for us, who is against us?"

"Nothing can separate us from the love of Christ."

So much brilliant love and promise pouring out of every corner of it! Then I ran across some verses that I knew had more than what I was seeing.

Romans 8:26 - 27

In the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings toodeep for words;

and He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.

As I thought about this I felt the discouragement of my prayer life rush over me. I feel a desperate need to pray more for other people, but so often I feel I just don't have enough information. I get cut short because I only know bits and pieces of their situation and my own guesses at what the root issues may be. I don't know how to pray as I should.

Then it hit me. That's what the Holy Spirit does! He fills in the blanks! He meets me on my knees where I pray for people and situations and whatever I don't know to pray for- He does! I don't have to be afraid that my friend will only get the meager portion I prayed over them just because I didn't know everything. I can pray confidently knowing that the Father hears my prayers as well as the prayers of the the Holy Spirit who does know my friends heart and the real issues going on!

So what was the point of verse 27? It seemed obvious that the Spirit would pray according to the will of God. I mean, He is God. I must be missing something. There was magic here and I just couldn't see it. As I was walking that day I asked God to show me something new in this verse that I had never seen before.

And He did. He put that in there to be an example for us! He's stating the obvious so that we will follow along. Pray according to the will of God! Pray what you see in the Word and pray it in faith! An excitement grew inside me and my pace quickened. I began to pray, right there in some little neighborhood and out loud for any person or squirrel to hear.

God I thank you that YOUR WILL is that Lisa has an abundant full life in You!

God I thank you that YOUR WILL is that Cynthia is healed of all of her pain by Your stripes and suffering on the cross!

God I thank you that YOUR WILL is that Stephen finds the freedom and salvation that you freely offer him!

God I thank you that YOUR WILL is that there is a future for me and my hope will not be cut off!

God I thank you that YOUR WILL is that Jennifer's situation will work together for her good and You will bring about the great purposes for her life!

I don't know how many blocks passed by as I went on like this. But it was exhilarating.

Wreckage to Wonder

2011-03-14T16:34:00.000-07:00

What would happen if we allowed our lives to be wrecked for God? That word- wreck- may disturb you. It may even strike fear into your heart. If it does it is only because you don’t fully understand what it means to be wrecked by God. Our basic understanding of wreckage on this earth is pure destruction. Something was whole. Something is ruined; rendered broken and useless. The end. That is what we know of earthly wreckage. That is what we understand from what we’ve seen of broken relationships, natural disasters and car accidents. Wreckage is bad and should be avoided. I would like to suggest that the opposite is true with God’s wreckage.

Look at the Bible. Look at the lives. God told Abraham to leave his home, his land, his friends: to ruin everything in his life and start over somewhere else. Joseph had plans of rising up in his father’s household and taking over the family lands. His brother’s sold him as a slave. His life was wrecked. Paul was held in the highest esteem among his peers. No one could outwit him or prove more knowledgeable when it came to the law of God. He encountered Jesus on the road one day and the encounter wrecked all the years of knowledge and experience he had built up for his own purposes. His skill was now useless for his plans.

These lives were undeniably wrecked. But it didn’t end there. There is another factor in God-wreckage that we may refuse to acknowledge because of our own fears. We see our worlds falling apart around us and look into the future imagining the worst. What we see- we think- is what we get. Ruin. The end. But what if while the pieces of our world were falling down around us like debris and ash, we looked into the future and saw the end that God-Wreckage brings: Wonder. Human wreckage and sin-destruction ends at the point of the breaking and ruin, but God turns wreckage to wonder. Abraham walked with God. Joseph ruled a nation. Paul wrote life-fueling words that would span through generations. Through the ash, through the tears, through the impossible thing that God has told you to fearlessly take ahold of, look ahead and believe for the wonder. It is there, waiting for you.

Deliverance from Mental and Physical Slavery

2011-02-20T21:42:00.001-08:00

Deliverance from mental and physical slavery is a desperate need in our world today. The enemy of our life and our love would like nothing better than to enslave us. History is full of people who needed deliverance from mental and physical slavery, and the world today continues in that pattern. Slavery takes many different forms. For people who have experienced the bondage of worldviews like Communism in their country the slavery begins in their minds, causing them to make choices that may enslave others or continue to enslave themselves.

God created us to be cherished, valued and loved. But if we don’t see ourselves as having any value, that will lead us to make decisions that can lead us to further emotional slavery, as well as physical slavery. In countries all over the world mindsets like this lead to circumstances where men and women will make rash decisions in an effort to feel value, or take advantage of someone that they see no value in. This mental enslavement leads people to make decisions based on very little thought or information, or to use people like items to use and sell.

A young girl with this mindset will quickly trust a stranger promising a great job in another country, and only later discover she has really been enslaved. The rest of her life will be spent working endlessly for little or no pay, or being forced to deliver her precious body to a daily string of men. It can all start with that despair and slavery of her mind. She feels she has no value and the first chance she sees she grasps at. But a woman who knows that she is cherished and adored by her Heavenly father will offer Him her trust and know that He will take care of her. She doesn’t need to act rashly in desperation.

Pray for deliverance from mental and physical slavery for Bulgaria and the world. Pray that these strongholds and damaging mindsets will be broken through the brilliant power of Christ. Pray that He will refresh them with the knowledge and understanding of true value and purpose a plan He has just for them!

Human Trafficking, Sex Slavery, and Poverty

2011-02-20T21:39:00.000-08:00

Human Trafficking, Sex Slavery and Poverty can be overwhelming and excruciating topics. Just bringing up the epidemic of human trafficking or sex slavery tempts us to feel despair and hopelessness. When we hear a statistic such as 27 million people are in slavery around the world today we want to throw up our hands and breathe sadly, “Well, what could I ever do to change that?” But what are we looking at? The number of people in poverty or human trafficking around the world? Something like sex slavery that seems “bigger” than we could ever comprehend much less attempt to tackle? So our focus is on something big. This brings us to a simple shift in focus to something even bigger: God. Yes human trafficking, sex slavery and poverty are tragic, massive, and mind-blowing. But the God we serve has a history of taking “big” things and dwarfing them with His love and greatness.

What it requires from us is faith. Faith welded to action. We are not called to be God and make the change. We are called to obey in what He has put before us and watch Him take our faith & action against slavery and poverty to make a miracle. I believe that Bulgaria is the next launching pad for a great miracle from God. Compared to many countries in the world, Bulgaria is not very large. But the darkness and strongholds it faces are looming over it’s future with ravenous intensity. Human trafficking. Despair. Poverty. Lies about self worth. Sex slavery. Worldviews that inflict hopelessness and bondage on the lives that it preys upon. These may all seem like giants. Especially to those who have lived in countries that enjoy wealth and freedom. But these giants are particles to God. And what would seem to take ages to change or improve can transform with one breath from God, or one person sent in His name.

Don’t let facts or circumstances grow to be larger than God in your own mind, whether they are the heart-breaking issues in your own life or gruesome injustices like sex slavery in the world. Remember that He is bigger, and then take a step to activate your faith with action. It could mean changing the course of your career and joining yourself to a Kingdom pursuit. It could mean surrendering the money God has blessed you with (from the job HE has blessed you with) to feed and clothe those in rags of poverty and despair. It could mean sacrificing time to pray and rally behind someone who is fighting for the orphans, widows and slaves. Decide to take action today, in whatever way God is calling you, to be a part of the big miracle He has brewing. I dare you to let God transform you through your obedience to help transform the lives of others.

Child labour

2010-07-25T08:58:00.000-07:00

Modern Day Slavery and Human Trafficking.

2010-07-25T08:42:00.000-07:00

Modern day slavery and human trafficking. When we think of slavery, we usually think of the past, not today's society. However, modern day slavery and human trafficking remains a shockingly present, if not hidden, part of our global world. In fact, according to the extensive research done by the Polaris Project on modern day slavery and human trafficking, "actual statistics are often unavailable and sometimes may be contradictory due to the covert nature of the crime, the invisibility of victims and high levels of under-reporting." As I researched slavery in modern day, and sought to compare statistics, my heart felt stabbed by the amount of human trafficking that occurs; even at its lowest estimate, the numbers are high. With this article, I set forth the definition and general global impact of modern day slavery and human trafficking in hopes as to bring awareness to the problem.

Abuse of others is considered human trafficking when an individual uses another for forced labor, prostitution, debt bondage, slavery, forced marriages, and child transfer for various exploitive purposes. Trafficking often involves recruitment or transferring of the human beings through such means as abduction or fraud. Modern day slavery involves the practice of forced labor and/or confinement. Both modern day slavery and human trafficking takes an unwilling individual and thrusts them into inhumane and often horrific conditions.

The most shocking statistic comes in the fact that an estimated 27 million human beings are trapped in modern day slavery. In Europe, human trafficking is the second largest global organized crime today, according to the United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime. In fact, there occurs one sale every 47 seconds, according to the same statistics. The nature of slavery occurring from human trafficking varies from country to country but on average, 70-90 percent of females trafficked end up in the commercial sex industry, while most males endure forced labor and abusive slavery. Many of these are young children; those that aren't should be considered "children" still, averaging between the ages of 12 to 14.

Modern day slavery and human trafficking is just coming to the forefront of awareness in today's world because, as mentioned at the onset, the crime is generally hidden. Those trafficking keep actions highly secretive, are often seductive individuals, and threaten victims with death which in turn causes the trafficked to hesitate to cry for help. However, the greatest reason that the mass amount of slavery in modern day has been hidden for so long is that money speaks, or, in this case, it gives the incentive to keep quiet. The total yearly profits generated by human trafficking as an industry comes to 32 billion dollars! And, $15.5 billion of this total is made in industrialized countries – countries that should be leading by example and respecting all humanity. I have to agree with Secretary of State Hillary Clinton when she says that human trafficking and modern day slavery "is an affront to our basic values and our fundamental belief that all people everywhere deserve to live and work in safety and dignity."
Especially as a Christian, we are called to "speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute" (Proverbs 31:8). Those stuck in modern day slavery are being denied their God given right to speak out, and the trafficking is leaving in its wake lives destitute and hearts broken. The first step to speaking out comes in being informed, then partnering with others taking action. Ceitci Demirkova Ministries interacts with children and families touched by the various forms of slavery and human trafficking, especially in Bulgaria and Uganda, highly impacted areas of this crime against human beings created by God. In fact, Changing a Generation may be rescuing a child every day, for the programs are providing food, education, and hope, which helps keep families from selling their children into slavery, and children from agreeing to any "opportunity" in a desperate attempt for survival.

Speech Lessons and Skills for Improving your Communication and Life.

2010-07-22T11:50:00.000-07:00

Speech lessons and skills for improving your communication and life. There are many books available that offer speech lessons and skills for improving your communication and life. However, it remains interesting to me that the Bible rarely counts among those referenced for improving communication skills and life. After all, if we want to maximize the potential of our speech skills, I think we can learn lessons from the God who used speech to bring the universe and life about in the very beginning! Perhaps we can't create physical universes with our words, but I believe we can gather speech lessons and skills for improving your communication and life from the scriptures, which allows you to impact the spiritual realm.

Before we move to highlighting the practical steps of learning speech lessons and skills for improving your communication and life from the Bible, I would like to point out the important connection between the heart and effective communication. Proverbs 4:23-4 speaks of the heart being the wellspring of life, and I believe that is because "the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart" (Matthew 15:18). The most effective lessons to improving communication, and hence life, are those which also focus on the condition of the heart, because otherwise words just become empty adornments on your lips, and do not create impact or change in life. Once we understand that surrendering our heart to the purification and purposes of Jesus remains the first step, we can implement the practical speech lessons and skills for improving your communication and life.

The first of the lessons to improving communication and life comes in the fact that we are told we are not to live feeding our mouth on just bread, but we also are to feast on the words and truths that come from the mouth of God. Not only are we to allow our speech to communicate praise to God, but also we are to approach our interactions with others as an opportunity to implement truth. This does not mean we have to preach each time we open up our mouth, but that we allow the Biblical principles of love, truth, faithfulness, self-control, and the list continues, to saturate our communication skills.

This brings us to the next of our speech lessons and skills to improving your communication and life found in the Bible – keeping flattery out of our skills-set. Proverbs 26:28 reminds that a flattering tongue "works ruin." Often, people resort to flattery to persuade others or get in their good graces. Perhaps using flattery in communication improves life temporarily, but eventually leads to discrediting the flatterer and causing his/her words to turn lies.

Finally, the last of our speech lessons and skills to improving your communication and life which is scriptural comes in the form of wisdom. The Bible talks endlessly about a life which uses wisdom in communication. A wise man is to use his lips to promote instruction, and a wise woman should allow life-giving wisdom to govern her responses in life (Proverbs 10,16). Wisdom means we pause before allow speech to come forth, we pray, we reflect. We are quick to listen, and slow to communicate frivolously.

To guard your heart from corruption, to make truth and love the base of all communication, to keep flattery from your lips, and to listen and instruct with wisdom are all speech lessons and skills you can gather from the Bible that will improve your communication and life. For your personal studies on this subject, see the following scriptures: Psalm 19:14, 71:8, 141:3; Proverbs 4:24, 10:11, 26:28; Ecclesiastes 5:2; Isaiah 51:16, 59:21; Matthew 4:4, 12:24, 15:18; Luke 6:45.

Mission Trip to Bulgaria

2010-06-28T06:47:00.000-07:00

Mission trip to Bulgaria. What, a mission trip to Bulgaria? Africa, South America, even Russia remain common destinations to go on a mission, but who thinks of Bulgaria? Yet, the country cries out for people with loving hearts to make their mission trip to this place that is shrouded in the pain of brokenness and abandonment. In our last article, we spoke of donating used items to charity to help children in Bulgaria, but perhaps God inspires you to do more. On a mission trip to Bulgaria, you would find children wasting away, literally, for attention and the loving touch of Jesus.

In 2007, BBC released a documentary entitled Bulgaria’s Abandoned Children, which gives us an example of the need for mission trips to make Bulgaria their next destination. Keep in mind, as you read on, that Bulgaria is not a third world country, it is a part of the European union! In the BBC documentary, the host made her own “mission” trip to Bulgaria to cover a social care home, housing seventy-five children, in the village of Moniligo. Of all the European countries, Bulgaria has the highest number of physically and mentally disabled individuals warehoused in institutes; one in fifty children are institutionalized in such social care homes. Most of the children enter the homes at the abandonment of their parents because of minor afflictions, such as being blind, deaf, or, perhaps mildly autistic. The conditions of the facility in the film are horrendous, but the conditions of the children are worse. The documentary gives heart-wrenching accounts of neglect and abuse, for it seems the mission of the institute simply remains to house the children until they’re old enough to make the trip to a different home, or they die. Not only are the limbs of the children gnarled like sticks from malnourishment, but most of them are never taught to talk and receive no therapy or special care for their disabilities. There are no organized activities or field trips outside, there is no one to hold the children in a loving embrace, and most the staff refuses to even make eye contact with the children. Without stimulation or education, children with the potential to live a relatively normal life, despite their disease or disability, are left to rock the day away, muttering unintelligible noises and waiting for the next spoonful of gooey porridge to shove into their mouths. Bulgaria’s Abandoned Children shows us why making a mission trip to Bulgaria is needed, for Jesus inspires His followers to love and care for little children because it is His heart.

We must not forget that, when everyone else pushed the children away in the Bible, Jesus reached out and took the children in His arms and blessed them. Today, we are Jesus’ arms, and our mission is to embrace the children others push away – to embrace children like those orphaned and abandoned in Bulgaria. James 1:27 claims this is what makes our religion real, or pure and faultless: “to look after orphans and widows in their distress.” If looking after children in need makes our faith faultless, it can never be “wrong” to make a mission trip to Bulgaria. The next step is to seek information on such a trip, and perhaps make the ministry to Bulgaria’s abandoned Children our next mission.

Donate Used Items to Charity to Help Kids in Bulgaria.

2010-06-28T06:44:00.000-07:00

Donate used items to charity to help kids in Bulgaria. I have an excess of slightly used items sitting around my house which I would love to donate to charity to help kids in need in Bulgaria. It’s a great thought, but how does one donate used items to charity to help kids in Bulgaria? After all, shipping items to the country, just as shipping items to Ghana, is not a good option because of theft and inadequate postal services. Money is the best thing to donate to get kids the items they need because it can be safely wired, but in times like these, I don’t have extra money. My heart cries out, however, that there must be a way to donate and bless kids with the excess of things we have in this country, for I would rather give to charity than throw away my used items. As I was thinking and praying about this, God began giving me a few ideas of innovative ways to gain a return for these items go help His children. The following gives several ways to donate used items to charity to help kids in Bulgaria.

Donate used items by recycling and use the money for charity! With the recent push to “go green,” what better way to join the movement than to make the good of the environment translate into helping the poor and orphaned kids in Bulgaria? Search online for recycling centers that pay for glass or metal, and announce that you are collecting in your church and neighborhood. Also, look at sites like http://www.cash4cartridgesusa.com to donate old ink-cartridges, and http://www.yourenew.com/ to recycle electronics for cash. It doesn’t cost you anything, and it gives you that extra money you’re always wishing was around to help charities reach kids in places like Bulgaria.

Secondly, a good way to donate used items to charity to help kids in Bulgaria, through getting a return for them monetarily, is to hold a garage sale. Determine before-hand that all the proceeds you make will go towards charity, and promote your sale thus. This will draw more people to come, as well as encourage further spending. People often become willing to spend more if they know that all the cost is going to help kids in need.

Finally, get cash to give to charity to help kids in need by donating used items to places like the Goodwill. True, most second-hand stores do not give money for the things you bring in, but they will give you a receipt you can file and get a tax-rebate from. If you track the taxes that these donations saved you, and use the money you would have had to pay as an offering to help kids in Bulgaria, it’s similar to getting money for those used items to donate to charity. Also, look into high-end second hand stores that actually pay for slightly used, quality clothing. In Seattle area, there’s a place called Plato’s Closet that gives cash for brand-named clothing.

Now that you have a way to get money out of those used items, you can give the aid to the Bulgarian children Changing a Generation supports that you thought was not financially possible for you previously. With a little innovation, it’s easy to donate used items to charity to help kids in Bulgaria, and in Africa, and it doesn’t cost you anything!

Writing Journals to Draw Closer to God.

2010-06-11T20:24:00.000-07:00

Writing Journals to Draw Closer to God. When you’re writing journals, it doesn’t always have to be an exploration of self-discovery; you can approach the practice a different way by writing journals to draw closer to God. My most powerful journals are those I am writing to God as I seek to draw closer in relationship with Him. As my journal writing expands to involve God within it, I find I’m drawn closer to God because it allows His words and truth to come onto the page and into my heart. When I am writing journals to draw closer to God I experience His love and inspiration in my life at a level that the “self,” without God’s word, cannot experience.

Why not just pray to draw closer to God instead of spending time writing journals? Words are powerful. God created the world through words. In a way, He was writing the world into being in Genesis when “God said…and there was.” Words can invoke the creative inspiration of God! God also gave us words, in the Bible, as a way to draw closer to Him. When we think carefully about it, the Gospels are like an account of the disciples writing journals about the events that happened: they wrote out details and discoveries, and they also ended up writing what God had to say, through Jesus and what we call “divine” inspiration. They discovered more than “self,” they invited God into their writing, and the writing became a venue for us to draw closer to God’s love and heart today.

When we speak about the unique power of writing journals to draw closer to God, we cannot forget that Jesus himself was called “The Word.” In John Chapter One, we find Jesus called The Word. In the Jewish, not only does this reference mean Jesus, but also the “word” of God, by which He created the world and governs it, and the written word – the Bible. Which is why writing journals – actually making it a practice to write words on paper – can be a great venue to draw our hearts closer to God: God uses both spoken on written words to reach humanity, and when we use both venues to reach him, we find a deeper level of intimacy.

In my journals, I begin by writing as if I’m writing a letter to God or speaking to Him like a friend. Sometimes I address Him directly, other times I just write with Him as the audience to my story or thoughts. As I begin opening up my heart on the page, I discover I draw closer to God because it takes more vulnerability to be honest with written words. The more vulnerable I am, the more God can speak to those fears, doubts, lies, questions, or uncertainties. Often, I find that my journals become a message from God as well, and not just me writing to Him. Whether this happens through Him bringing a scripture verse to mind for me to write down, or from God actually inspiring me to write down words, I find it always draws me closer to His refreshing love. Below is the most recent message God gave me:

“Come to ME so that you never go empty or weary. Do good always. Even when you’re slapped, abused, and crushed, do good back. Give back MY blessings. The one thing I always promise you is an overflow of joy and my light…”

This message in my journals came from God at a time when I desperately needed His inspiration and was having a hard time with persecution, feeling like I wanted to retaliate. These words gave me the life and the reminder I needed to draw closer to God for the strength to persevere. That’s what God’s words do – “the word of God is living and active…it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart” (Hebrews 4:12).

Because of the power of words and the ultimate power of The Word, combining them together allows God to become active in your thoughts and heart in a whole new, life-giving way. And, it’s not hard to do; start by pulling out a notebook and simply begin writing your journals to draw closer to God!

Find Christian Motivational Speakers.

2010-06-11T20:19:00.000-07:00

Find Christian Motivational Speakers. Have you ever tried to find Christian motivational speakers who inspire real change, rather than just provide an hour of feel-good-words with no lasting impact? Whether we’re planning an event and need motivational speakers, or looking to find motivational sermons to listen to, it remains important to remember that not every message deemed “Christian” is infused with the power that alters our perception and brings LIFE to our hearts! So, when seeking to find Christian motivational speakers whose words are full of this power and life, three things should come to question: 1. What is the speaker’s primary purpose behind his or her ministry? 2. Feel out his or her perspective on Redemption and Christianity, and, 3. Weigh not the individual’s schooling first, but the speaker’s primary Teacher. Considering these three things helps us find Christian motivational speakers that truly motivate movement in hearts and lives.

First, Christian motivational speakers should know what their purpose is each time they step up to the microphone. Although the message, the people, and the settings may change, someone motivated by God’s heart never changes their purpose behind speaking. And, no one can motivate others with their words without first being motivated by the heart of God. Personally, I am always impacted to change when I listen to Ceitci Demirkova because her purpose behind each message is the same: “to inspire others to reach the fullness of their destiny in Jesus Christ,” which is to embrace and live out Christ’s salvation!

Secondly, a huge component to find Christian motivational speakers involves finding someone who knows the meaning of true Redemption, and extends that message to others. When the Bible says, “the old has gone, the new has come,” it means just that. Redemption means we are freed completely from the sin that separates us from God, and we are restored to connect intimately with Him. When Christian speakers still cling to the idea that we are imperfect and impure before God, even after accepting our new life through Christ’s sacrifice, then the message they deliver is condemning and not motivational. It brings death and not life, because it’s not the heart of God.

Lastly, and most importantly, so much weight seems to be put on an individual’s accolades or scholarly achievements when seeking a Christian motivational speaker, when we really should consider the speaker’s Teacher first. Surely, education is important, but the ultimate Teacher does not lecture in the classroom. Jesus told us in John 14:26, “the Councilor, the Holy Spirit…will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you.” Without the Holy Spirit as the primary Mentor and Teacher, every spiritual lesson is void of true life. Romans 8:2 reminds us that it is this Spirit that brings life and sets us free. So, if a speaker does not go first to the Spirit, then no one is going to be set free or motivated to change because his or her words will not carry that living breath of God that MOVES hearts. A heart that’s been schooled in surrendering and listening to The Teacher will bring a motivational message that a theology class alone cannot.

To find motivational speakers does not have to be a science. These three things really come down to one underlying theme: God’s love. If Christian speakers have God’s love, they will carry the purpose of Salvation behind everything they do, they will understand that complete Redemption between us and our Savior is a part of God’s loving plan, and their words will come from the teachings’ of the Spirit, since we cannot learn to love like God without the Holy Spirit moving our hearts in the first place. Remember, no matter whom the Christian motivational speakers are, the final response is always up to the listener: we make a choice to stay stagnant, or to move with the motivation of the Spirit.

The Mission isn't the People, The People are the Mission

2009-07-31T14:11:00.000-07:00

By: Krinda Joy Carlson
Intern, Ceitci Demirkova Ministries

The mission isn’t the people, the people are the mission. At first glance, this sentence screams “fallacy,” or at least “contradiction.” So, let me rework it visually:

Mission = People
OR
People = Mission

Which of these equations make the greatest sense? Many would say that the first is correct according to the Great Commission (which is every Christian’s mission): “Go and make disciples of all nations. Baptize them…teach them…(Matthew 28:19-20).” But, let me point out that we cannot baptize or teach a nation without people, for the people are the nation. Without people, therefore, we cannot have a mission, because we need the “them” to fulfill the Great Commission. Often, however, we have a reverse mentality in which the goal or the nation is our sole focus as opposed to HUMAN HEARTS.

People are the mission. When we understand this, we beat the Jonah-complex which I wrote about last week. Jonah was angry when Nineveh didn’t burn because he was focused on the mission as opposed to saving the people. He missed the joy of participating in the deliverance of an entire city because he was so wrapped up in the execution of his task.

If we focus solely on a mission or calling in our lives, we miss the miracles happening along the way to the completion of that mission. Essentially, we miss the whole purpose of having a mission – the purpose is to make an eternal difference. The only way to make an eternal difference is to affect the hearts and souls of human beings. Missions don’t exist without people.

Jesus’ life exemplifies this point. He certainly had a mission – his entire life built towards the purpose of the cross – but He stopped on the way for the people, showing they were His first priority…they were IT. He never ignored the need of a crying heart for the sake of a goal or plan in which He was endeavoring to fulfill. Take, for example, the story of Jarirus’ daughter, Luke 8:40-55.

Jarius was a very important official, highly esteemed in the eyes of the people. His daughter was sick, and he tried everything. Nothing worked. She was only twelve, and she was dying. Jarius was desperate. So, he opted to find Jesus personally, as opposed to sending his servant. When Jarius located Jesus, he fell at His feet and begged Christ to come to his house. The people all watched in astonishment. In modern day, this would be like a famous superstar prostrating himself and begging a “middle-class” individual for help…the press coverage would be epic. Therefore, Mission-Jarius’-Daughter was a red-carpet event for Jesus. He agreed, and Jarius led the way at a frantic pace. The gossip-hungry crowd pressed tightly around them, wanting to be a part of this significant event. Each step was another second in which the little girl could be taking her last breath. But, Jesus stopped. Abruptly. Jarius looked back, confused, “Hurry, hurry!” Jesus was looking around at all the people and asked, “Who touched me?” Everyone wondered if He’d gone nuts! There were thousands brushing against Jesus, what could He mean? Why was he allowing himself to be distracted from this mission at hand by such a little detail? The daughter of this famous man was dying! He was risking his reputation and ministry! Nevertheless, Jesus persisted. “Someone has touched me.” Finally, a frightened woman came forth, and threw herself before Jesus in fear. She had suffered bleeding for twelve years and knew that if she could only touch His garments, she would be healed. And, she was! This woman – who had endured scorn from others, who had felt dirty for so long, who’s life savings had been spent on trying to find a cure – was finally whole. Yet, she was still ashamed, sprawled in the dirt before Jesus. Jesus knew that although her body was healed, her heart was still bleeding. He touched her and spoke, “Daughter…Go in peace.” He delivered this woman from turmoil and shame by ministering peace and calling her daughter – an endearing term only recorded coming from His lips this once. As Jesus was giving this woman acceptance and belonging, a servant came to Jarius with news. His daughter was dead. Jesus was no longer needed. In everyone’s eyes, the mission was a failure. But for Jesus, so long as there are people, the mission is never abandoned. He told Jarius that his daughter would be healed. Jarius remains in shock. He stared at this crazy man thinking, She’s dead. Why didn’t you complete your mission to my daughter. Why did you stop for this woman and let my daughter die? When Jesus arrived at the house, people mocked and jeered. Jesus looked past the circumstances towards the girl in need. With a word and a touch, he raised Jarius’ daughter up from the dead, completely whole and healed. His mission was completed, despite it all, because His mission was based on the souls of the people, which are eternal and never fade.

Along the road to whatever Jesus was seeking to accomplish, he never looked at the needs of the people as an interruption…because he operated out of a people mentality. He did not allow fame, or importance of a goal, nor the voices of the crowd to override the cry of human souls. And, Christ did not die for the sake of a mission; He died for the hearts and souls of the PEOPLE. Our Great Commission is to epitomize Jesus Christ…our mission is not about reaching goals, it’s about reaching souls. The people are our mission.

WE the JONAHS

2009-07-23T09:21:00.000-07:00

WE the JONAHS
Krinda Joy Carlson
Intern, Ceitci Demirkova Ministries

Lately, the Bible’s been funny to me. Not the Bible itself, the stories in it. This morning I was reading Jonah and had to laugh! Jonah, like all the other characters in the Bible, was one-hundred percent human – just like us. He was stubborn, he was afraid, he didn’t want to do the task God asked, and he was the ultimate dramatic. The story starts like this:
God says GO!
Jonah says no.
He actually physically tries to run from God. The first place he goes is a shipyard, thinking maybe he can put some ocean between him and God, as if contact with the Creator of the Universe could only be made on land! But, he can’t escape. At sea, a storm tosses the ship about like a rubber-ducky. The sailors are frantic and petition their various gods, to no avail. Finally, they went to Jonah, knowing he was in the process of running away from God since he announced it to them when he boarded the ship. Instead of praying and submitting, Jonah tells them to throw him overboard.
Jonah decides he should die.
God decides He’ll give him another try.
So, did God send a life-raft to pick him up, or a sailor to rescue Jonah? No, He “provided” a great fish “to swallow” Jonah (if anyone ever tries to say God doesn’t have a sense of humor, just point them to this story)! Jonah sat in that mucky-yucky, not to mention slimy, innards of the fish until he finally prayed and turned to the Lord. The Bible says that the fish then VOMITED Jonah out on shore. And, he gets another chance.
God, again, says GO!
Jonah says ok, I’ll bring to Nineveh your woe!
SO, Jonah finally travels to fulfill the original mission God sent Him on. When he gets to Nineveh, he warns the people of their sin and tells them that they will be destroyed. The king and his people are so repentant, they denounce all their gods and pray and fast to the One true God. God sees this, and has compassion on the people of Nineveh. Meanwhile, Jonah is watching for the city to be destroyed. He’d brought the warning of God, and now he waits for the message he brought to be fulfilled. After all, this is what he was sent for! When Jonah realizes that Nineveh is getting a second chance, he gets angry that the word he delivered didn’t happen like he said, so he begins berating God. “I knew that you are a gracious and compassionate God,” he shook his fist to heaven. “Slow to anger and abounding in love, a God who relents from sending the calamity.” Aaaaarrrrrr, “Now, O Lord, take away my life!” With that, the angered man stormed to the desolate landscape outside the city, without supplies or shelter.
Jonah goes to the desert to bake.
God sends shade for his sake.
Despite his original dramatic intentions, Jonah was happy for the shade, but the next day the vine, which was providing protection for the sun, withered. He became angry all over again at God – angry because nothing was going the way he planned. His solution? Nothing less than death (this is the third of Jonah’s death wishes in the short book!).
Jonah asks, “Death to me, O God, please render!”
God asks, “Jonah, my child, just surrender.”

And then book ends – fin, complete. We never discover the resolution of the story. But I think that’s the point of the Book of Jonah. The end of the story is ours. God gives us Jonah because we can relate, then leaves the story unfinished for us to complete. After all, we are all Jonahs who are being shaped into vessels God can use. Maybe you haven’t done any of the following, but I can guarantee you know someone who has…

Ran from the difficult things God asks him to do.
Blamed God for bad things that happen to her.
Been angry when something didn’t turn out the way he or she thought it should.
Just generally whined, complained, and dramatized when life was out of their control.

Sometimes, we only see the unpleasant, stinky part of life, or the things that are removed from our lives. When, in fact, Jonah’s story shows us that the smelly fish wasn’t a curse, it was a blessing because it preserved his life; just as the vine in the desert was provided for a season, until it was time for Jonah to move on. God didn’t send the fish or remove the vine out of anger but out of loving compassion. He did not send Jonah to Nineveh simply because he was angry with the city, He sent him because He loved the people and desired to provide them with another chance. After Jonah rejected the call, God could have chosen someone different, but God wanted Jonah because He cared. Just like with Nineveh, God provided Jonah with second chances. God did not relent. He kept on pursuing Jonah.

That’s how God is with us, he’s gracious and compassionate. He doesn’t sit in heaven and wait for us to fail so He can get angry and send calamity. No matter how much we mess up, God still wants to use us! If we run, He’ll send a storm to redirect our route. If we jump into the ocean, He’ll send a big fish to swallow us up and spit us where we need to go. If we decided to wander in the desert, He’ll eventually spring something from the ground to bring us back to our right minds. You see, God can handle our dramatics and our fears, but the one thing He does expect of us is to let HIM BE GOD. The problem with Jonah trying to control his life, the weather, the plant, and the fate of the city is that he operates out of the human condition of condemnation. Even condemnation upon himself (note: his desire to die). Whereas, God’s plan, which we see played out in the story, is one of grace. He extends this redemption in equal amounts to all peoples. So, when the Book ends with God asking Jonah, “Don’t I have the right to do as I please with my creation?” He is asking this same question of us. We all come to the point where we must answer this question, which is why the end of Jonah is our beginning. For, our journey starts with acknowledging God’s right and might to control with His great love. So, you can choose to run or surrender.
But if you run, He’ll smile and send a fish just for you…
because you’re a Jonah, with a calling too!

Stories from the Love-Starved

2009-07-18T11:51:00.000-07:00

Stories from the Love-Starved
By: Krinda Joy Carlson
Intern, Ceitci Demirkova Ministries

The other day I entered Wal-Mart’s restroom, and in one of the stalls I saw a pregnancy test. It was negative. The image of it sitting there made me want to cry. My first thought was, What type of desperate situation would force someone to take their pregnancy test in Wal-Mart? A scenario played out in my head:

There’s a girl who had it all. She grew up with a family that attended church regularly, lived in a great neighborhood, and had the “perfect” American life. On the outside. Inside, though, she was desperate. Desperate to satisfy her craving for love. Her father never said “I love you,” and she felt her family never talked about real feelings, feelings that were ready to shatter her to pieces if they didn’t find an outlet. So, behind closed doors she sought the cure. Her medicine became attention from boys. But there were side effects, for her hunger to feel special and loved only increased each time she slept with her boyfriend. One day, the inevitable came: she missed her menstrual cycle. It took her a day to gather the courage to drive to Wal-Mart. Standing in the aisle with the pregnancy tests, she waited until she was alone. Her arm felt like lead, barely able to rise and pick up the box. It seemed to mock her. I can’t…I can’t be seen with this. I’m supposed to be this perfect Christian girl! It was so easy for her to slip it in her purse and walk to the bathroom, paranoid the whole time that if she made eye contact the people she passed would know. As she shut herself in the stall. She felt sick – she took the test. The next few minutes of waiting took an infinity. When the results showed, she almost fainted with relief. Blue was her new favorite color. She hung over the toilet, breathing…breathing. After collecting herself, she stared at the test, unable to bring herself to touch it again. And, too afraid someone would see her carrying it to the garbage, she left it sitting in the stall. She had a scare, but she was safe now. Somehow she didn’t feel much better as she left Wal-Mart…all she could think was, I’m a criminal and I’m so dirty. I need…something. But no one will ever know…
She goes home to an empty house.
No one is there to hold her and tell her...

Though I made this particular story up, it’s composed from reality. I’ve worked with numerous girls who have the same story, just translated in a different version. This craving for love, however, doesn’t just gnaw at girls. Guys have their own hunger-pains.

He, too, grew up going to church periodically as a boy, but phased out of attending as he grew older. His family was pretty much a wreck, and he craved something more. He looked, and looked. Maybe it would be found in a woman’s touch? His first serious girlfriend was at age sixteen. She manipulated him, sucked him dry, and left him with his manhood punctured by the barrage of her words. He was sure his heart would never be whole again. Until, an angel came along. She patched the holes and made him feel a man once more. They went to church together, prayed together, and…slept together. After all, they loved eachother. He knew she wanted him, and that made him feel needed, it gave him purpose. But it didn’t seem to be enough. He still hungered. So, he decided that one day they would be married – that would fix his consuming desire. They graduated. A year later, she broke it off. As she left, she ripped off every patch on his heart, and added a few punctures of her own. He stood alone, the wind of pain whistling through his abused heart. Love is a lie, God is a lie. If it was all a lie, he knew life wasn’t worth it. But something inside of him still beat to live, so he chose to numb it all away. Party every weekend, one hook up after the next, experimenting with anything to bring pleasure. I’m iron, I’m steal. Don’t care, don’t care, don’t care…just live. No matter what, when he was alone he still cared. And he panted to be cared for. I’m so dirty. I need…something. He knows better than to open up again…
He goes to sleep with an empty heart.
No one’s there to tell him…

…what? What is no one there to tell him? What did the girl never hear? They both grew up going to church, and yet they were still starved for love. Isn’t the God of love enough to keep these young people from vacuuming up pleasure from the dirty floors of this world? Yes, the God of Love is, but the god of religion is not. How many times does someone enter a church who has a story like this, and all they feel is numbing, burning shame because they are held at arms length. But what if, when they fell, someone was there to hold them tight and tell them, “You’re worth more than ever! God doesn’t love you for what you can do for him, or what you don’t do. HE JUST LOVES YOU.” Religion says instead: you’re worthless, or worth less, to God when you mess up, when you hurt, when you are essentially human. This message breeds stories like the ones above, and, ultimately, death. But Love – in the words of Jesus – says: “I showed My love for you by dying for you while you were still a sinner” (Romans 5:8). This message brings LIFE, and it is the “something” the individuals from our stories instinctively know they need!

As representatives of Jesus on this earth, He asks us to send the message of love and not religion. For until we realize that love is not “that we loved God, but that He loved us” first (1 John 4:10), we’ll always be pursuing and craving after love. But when we realize love is not earned, then we can accept the life-changing, head-over heels, all-out, reach-for-the-stars love relationship God wants to have with us. And, when we understand and accept the real unconditionality of God, it is only then that we truly learn to love Him and others, and our life choices naturally follow. This is what every man, woman, child, and youth longs and hungers for – the ability to love and be loved unconditionally. Two questions then remain:
What message have you been given about God?
And, are you giving religion or the message of Jesus to this love-starved world?

Only the love of Jesus satisfies.

2009-07-10T10:34:00.000-07:00

THE ALL-PURPOSE-ALL-POWERFUL TOOL
By: Krinda Joy Carlson
Intern, Ceitci Demirkova Ministries

David was given a sling. Ester was given a crown. Sampson was granted amazing strength. Moses was given a rod, oh, and another voice, via Aaron. Solomon was granted the greatest wisdom known to mankind. Joseph was given dreams, to interpret and to encourage. All these important figures of the Bible were given something, a tool of sorts, to do what was needed and accomplish their mission. What was I given?

Sometimes I feel as if God’s sent me to a massive construction site to work, but forgot to give me the tools. I don’t have superhuman strength, I don’t hold a rod that parts obstacles, I don’t even own a backhoe! Yet, I look around and see the need – there are things that need to be built, cracks and divots that require covering, foundations need mapping. In fact, I can’t escape this need because no matter where I go I encounter construction zones; they are all around me, living, moving, breathing…they’re called people.
Many are experiencing their foundations shifting.
Some have holes so big through their hearts that they have no protection from storms. Most are crumbling.
And I look down at my balled fists…they seem so empty. I see the job that needs doing, but feel so ill-equipped. God, give me some nails, some glue – anything! Where is my tool!?
Wait! Suddenly it’s as if I’ve been hoisted by a crane and am dangling above the scene observing...me! I see my own body below, glancing all around, desperately, for something to help the tumbling and cracking people. Then, my vision transcends the external; I see within the frame of Krinda below. I see my tool! All along it’s been sitting inside of me.
Waiting.
Waiting for me to let it out of its box and get to work.
I’m in shock. It is more accurate than David’s sling, more impacting than Joseph’s dreams, demands more authority than Ester’s crown, and is the ultimate all-purpose-all-powerful tool. Its logo is a flame. Its name is the Holy Spirit. God points down to my body below and says, “[Krinda], the Spirit of the One who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you (Romans 8:11).” With this statement, I realize that I’ve been given the same tool that Jesus Christ used while on earth! I have what is required to help repair the broken and build back up the sick. All I need to do the work is allow the Holy Spirit out of the box, and let Him work THROUGH me! At this revelation, I’m instantly back in my Krinda-frame looking at a project right in front of me. She’s pretty beat up: ripped heart, broken dreams, cracking hope. But now I know where my tool is to start construction and accomplish the mission.

Guess what! I’m not the only one with this tool – chances are high that you have it too. And if you don’t, it’s a gift promised to you by God Himself (Acts 1:4-5). You see, if you’ve asked Jesus into your heart, the Holy Spirit comes and lives inside of you. All that needs to be done is for you to let the Holy Spirit outside of the box and let Him flow through you. When this happens, the Holy Spirit also often uses your hands, your feet, and your body to accomplish the work. You never have to look at a need and feel empty, ill-equipped, and useless again. Whatever construction-site and mission God’s called you to, know that you have THE all-purpose-all-powerful tool inside of you!

Let’s allow the Holy Spirit within us to work…let’s light the flame!

ESSENCE OF GIVING

2009-07-03T09:55:00.000-07:00

ESSENCE OF GIVING
By: Krinda Joy Carlson
Intern, Ceitci Demirkova Ministries

Food. Talk. Jokes. The group of men enjoyed the meal with a comradeship born from countless hours spent together. However, tonight, something was lingering in the air – a heaviness marked the movements of their leader. They went about the motions of chewing bread and drinking their wine as if everything was normal, but between bites, furtive glances were cast towards the man at the head of the table.
In the middle of a lapse in conversation, the door to the meeting room suddenly flung open. There stood a woman clothed in scarlet. All eyes stared. She moved silently, grimly towards their leader clutching an elaborate jar to her chest. As she halted before him, one of the men nearby seemed to snap from his stupor, preparing to remove her from their presence. His leader motioned that he be seated. The man questioned, “Jesus…?”
But his leader, Jesus, had his eyes focused upon the woman’s as she uncorked the bottle in her hands. She extended the jar. Halted. Looked imploringly at the man in front of her.
He simply nodded.
Without breaking eye contact, the woman poured the contents of the jar over the head of Jesus. The sweet, distinct smell of one of the most costly perfumes available began to fill the room. The liquid spilled down Jesus’ hair, dripped onto his clothes, and mixed with the tears now sliding down his cheeks. The woman, too, began to cry, and shared a special smile with the man in front of her. The rest of the men, however, started muttering amongst themselves, none-too subtly.
“This is ridiculous! What’s she thinking? Is she crazy?”
“That perfume costs a fortune! What a waste.”
“We could have sold that and used the money for something better!”
The woman hung her head. Doubts taking root in her heart, Maybe I am foolish.
His gaze with the woman broken, Jesus turned a stern eye on the others. “Why are you bothering this woman?” He asked. “She has done a beautiful thing to me…when she poured this perfume on my body, she did it to prepare me for burial. I tell you the truth, wherever this gospel is preached throughout the world, what she has done will also be told.” With that said, he reached out and embraced the woman, who then departed as silently as she came.
This time when the door shut, she stood outside it and hugged the bottle to herself with a smile. Though empty of perfume, it was full now of something better – a priceless memory of Jesus’ acceptance that would be a continual reservoir of sweet joy. (Matthew 26:6-13)

This true story takes place shortly before Jesus is arrested and sentenced to death on the cross. Although Jesus is preparing to give the most valuable gift mankind will ever experience – his life – he still calls this woman’s offering beautiful! Why? Because her gift captures the essence of giving.

The woman brings to Jesus what is costly to her, and she pours it all out for his sake. That’s what Jesus asks of us when we come to him and when we give to others. He asks us to give with all our heart, thus the deed that represented this essence of giving costs something of us. It is befriending the social misfit in the office, which costs us because it places us on the gossip-list of our coworkers; it is listening to our lonely aunt repeat the same story over and over that costs us our time; it is being the first to extend an apology, which costs us our pride; and it is embracing the dirty, smelly outcast, which costs us our comfort. True giving like this costs the pouring out of the “self” for another. As shown by the men in the story, people won’t always understand this kind of giving, they may even mock you. But you’re not doing it for them, you’re pouring your offering upon the head of Jesus…you’re doing it for Him. Like the woman who gave Jesus what was costly to her, Jesus is looking at us and nodding encouragement that we do the same. When we pour out of the part of our heart we clutch so tightly to, the offering is a sweet and beautiful perfume to Jesus.
Then, he smiles upon us.
He embraces us.
He fills the now emptied bottle of our offering…
with the joy of His love and acceptance. Now that’s priceless beyond measure.

Day of The Double-Take

2009-06-26T10:37:00.000-07:00

Day of The Double-Take
By: Krinda Joy Carlson
Intern, Ceitci Demirkova Ministries

What if, in the middle of your daily rush to get everything done, someone suddenly stepped into your path begging for help? What if they looked you right in the eye and said,
“I’m Desperate.”
“Anything will help right now.”
“I need food. I’m disabled – can’t work – and I’m caring for my grandkids.”
What if this happened? What would you do?
It happens to me on a weekly basis.
When I’m carrying out my daily life, someone suddenly steps before me desperate, begging, in need. What do I do? Sick as it seems, my instant response is to look away. I justify it, They brought this upon themselves. They probably just don’t want to work. I don’t have time…

Is the scenario beginning to sound familiar yet? We’ve all encountered someone in need and looked away. Usually, we turn our eyes from the man on the street holding up the “Desperate” sign, or the woman with “Anything Helps” scratched on a piece of cardboard. Instinctively, we know that if we look twice, really consider the need, we won’t be able to ignore it because the heart of Jesus inside of us begins to pound. The day I looked twice, it was all over…

I was driving along a busy street heading for the freeway on-ramp. It was a sunny day after church and I was singing away to blasting worship when I looked over at the sidewalk, and there she was. She was thin, with grey coarse hair and had a sign that read, “Need food. Disabled, can’t work, caring for grandkids.” I looked away. Here I was, just coming from church and listening to worship, and I looked away. But, the thought of my own grandma having to take on responsibility for some of my younger cousins caused me to look a second time. The sight of those wrinkled hands holding the plea out to me and her hunched-back, no longer able to straighten against the lifetimes of burdens she’d endured, switch something inside of me. I recklessly swung my wheel and screeched into a nearby parking lot. That second look combated the thought that said, She’s probably lying, and replaced it with, So what if she IS lying! What if she’s not?! It can’t hurt to give food! Turns out, I had a box of nutrition bars in my trunk, so I pulled them out and rushed to her as fast as my heels would let me to give the offering. She was so thankful, gushing, “Oh thank you! Those will help so much. My grandchildren will love them – something healthy too!” I left with a feeling of euphoria, which carried all the way into the next day.

Since this initial day of doing a double-take, looking away has become harder and harder. I wrote about looking, really looking, into the faces of our children in my last blog because when you gaze into the eyes of those in need, you cannot look away and ignore the urge to act. The Bible says the eyes are the window of the soul, and so when we look into the eyes of another we get a glimpse into their soul. It’s as if the cry from inside them climbs from their soul-window, crawls the distance between you both, and enters you through your own soul-window. And when it truly gets inside of you, the cry, or need, sits there in the little room of your heart, asking that you DO something – and doesn’t leave until you do. The beauty of this type of soul exchange is that when we meet that need, we get to experience the same joy the receiver feels. For, not only do we answer the other’s cry, but we’re answering the cry our own heart begins to scream – the cry of Jesus inside of us that asks, “If anyone…sees [another] in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? (1 John 3:17).”

You see, the love of God inside of us longs to minister and meet the needs of others. Opportunities are all around us, not just in the form of the homeless or orphans. Each of our souls clutches a sign voicing a specific need. There are people you encounter in line at the grocery store, at your workplace, or friends you hang out with that are holding signs pleading, “Confused and lost, help me find my way,” or “Starved! Hungry for love – never satisfied.” Today, don’t glance away any longer from the souls crying out all around you! Look twice; let their needs get inside of you; and release the love of God, materially and spiritually, to the hurting, hungry, lost souls.
Then, experience the euphoria of being the heart, hands, and feet of Jesus!

Look In...The Faces of Our Children

2009-06-20T12:27:00.000-07:00

LOOK IN….
By: Krinda Joy Carlson
Intern, Ceitci Demirkova Ministries

Almost a year ago, while working as a camp councilor for my church youth group, I was struck by the horrifying reality of a pandemic striking our children. It was onset by a picture that was shown during an evening sermon of a little child of Africa, huddled on the ground, his skeletal frame protruding from leathery skin. The most haunting image from this picture was the vulture hovering in the background, just waiting for the babe to die. I think most of us have viewed images like this of children in third world countries, and they’ve pierced our hearts to the core. However, something different occurred inside of me when I saw this particular picture – for it birthed a further revelation. As the speaker was talking, I was looking around at the energetic and “healthy” youth surrounding me and thinking, God, how come you’ve called me here? Should I be overseas where the need is great and kids are dying right now, even as we worship? Suddenly, in my mind hovered a group of American youth, but I was seeing past the exterior and straight inside – and what I saw within them changed my life. Inside of every seemingly healthy young person was that dying little African child, right where their heart should have been. The vulture was there too. It was the devil. Waiting to devour the children spiritually. God whispered to me, “Krinda, this is why! The hearts and souls of America’s youth are shriveling and malnourished. Spiritually, they are like the children of a third world country and I need missionaries to rescue them as well.” I know for myself, I am called to be a missionary to the children right in my backyard, who are dying figuratively every day. I’m called to help keep the murderous devil from swooping down for the kill. Also, I must do what I can for those who literally are dying overseas. What about you? Will you look – really look – into the faces of our children across the world and in America – will you allow yourself to answer to the pain written there? Jesus loved and reached out to touch the needs of the little children. What about you?
"Let the little children come to me… And he took the children in his arms, put his hands on them and blessed them.” Mark 10:14,16

…The Faces of Our Children
Poem By: Krinda Joy Carlson

Starved and thirsty with an empty cup.
Sick and throwing up.
A disease from the water,
or daily dying is someone’s daughter.
Mal-nourished and wasting …gone.
Third-word child and American girl sing the same song.

Exploit of the sex-trade.
Trapped in the moral degrade.
Just surviving from trick to trick,
or striving to satisfy from click to click.
Slavery – cost of porn.
From captured trafficked to captive viewer the industry born.

Alone with no home.
“Lonely. Empty.” is the groan.
Family gone from disease at the age of six,
or neglected boy lost in the mix.
Estranged and losing hope fast.
Child of Africa and son of a parental split seek to belong at long-last.

Children are starving, hurting, broken,
trapped in the system they live or in lies spoken.
The malnourished baby.
The anorexic teen.
The prostituted girl.
The sex-craved slave.
The orphaned boy.
The divorce-afflicted child.
This generation, whether literal or figurative, is dying –
eyes of the casualties pleading out, crying.

Look! Don’t ignore the faces of our children
or allow numbing from the painful truth.
Across the continent to right in America here,
the youth’s stare speaks stark and clear.
They need a rescuer to reach out a hand,
someone that cares and loves enough to stand
in the gap between life and death,
to be the bridge to Jesus – the Hope, the Healer… the very source of Breath.

The Power of One

2009-06-17T03:37:00.001-07:00

By: Krinda Joy Carlson
Intern with Ceitci Demirkova Ministries

There’s a method to my madness for writing my first blog about escaping life on the deserted island of isolation. I hope it at least sparked thoughts upon what we do with our hearts. For, though God instructs us to “guard” our hearts, He never told us to keep it from fulfilling its purpose – which is to love. If we are so drown in our own emotions, our own fears, and our own self doubt, how will we ever be able to see the needs of others and reach the nations for Christ – much less one person? And it all begins with one…

My dad is one of those “ones” who then sprouted to reach multiple other “ones,” and those multiples in turn are going after their “one.” My dad didn’t grow up in a Christian home. His childhood is riddled with parental splits, witnessing alcohol abuse, and an intensive work schedule, all starting at a very young age. When he entered college, someone finally explained to him that a personal relationship with Jesus Christ is the reason for our existence. This person who ministered to my father saw the need, and wasn’t afraid to answer the questions my dad asked. Because of the open heart of this individual, my dad entered into an authentic relationship with Jesus. From then on, he’s been opening his heart to others – he and my mother raised me and my three siblings to really seek God, not just know about God. Over half of my dad’s extended family members are now Christians also, because of his heart to give and share God’s love. And, everyday, my dad speaks into the lives of the people who come into his work office; weekly, one by one, people who come across his path are leaving to start their own personal journey towards knowing God. If anyone had a reason to retreat into isolation and harden himself from the needs around him, it was my father. Yet, instead, he kept his heart unblocked from the Holy Spirit, who guides us to touch the hurts and needs of others.

My point is – when we open our hearts, the Holy Spirit opens our eyes! We no longer stay focused on our own selves, but we really see others; and, when we see others through God’s viewpoint we can’t help but reach out to them, one by one.

Because of one college student who stopped to make time in his busy schedule for my dad, who was desperate for the source of real love and contentment…

Because my dad was determined to give love and healing, and not the hurt and pain he experienced growing up, to every-one who entered his life…

Because I was one of the recipients of my father’s open and giving heart, I am writing this for any-one it may inspire to reach their own one.
After all, it all started with One: “for God so loved the world that He gave His one and only son” (John 3:16). And the love of that One – Jesus Christ – is all we need to open our hearts and, in turn, open our eyes to reach the nations, one by one.

Dangers of a Deserted Island

2009-06-09T11:31:00.000-07:00

By: Krinda Joy Carlson

Intern at Ceitci Demirkova Ministries

I dwelt on a deserted island for a whole year.

There, I ate the same non-substantial diet and endured the constant storms alone. I wasted away a little more each week and though I knew I was weakening, I still chose to live on the island.

I thought I was protecting myself.

You see, this deserted island wasn’t an actual location on the map, it was a spot I created inside where I kept my heart. Isolating my heart was my attempt to keep it safe from others; alone, I didn’t have to be hurt or angered on account people. At first it seemed bliss, but the danger began to show after a short month. My emotions rolled like the seas, and my marooned heart was taking a beating.

The storm was constant:

fears…

and worries…

eroding my island with no one to help me stand strong or escape. Also, as I said, I was wasting away, not only figuratively but literally. I lost my normal joy and hope; I dragged, barely able to get up; I even lost my appetite.

Still, I was determined to live on my little island and would not let the emotions, which threatened to drown me, flow out and dissipate. Nor was I willing to let someone get close enough to the island to rescue my heart. After all, people (more aptly put, the hurts people caused me) were what provoked me to hole up in the first place – no way I was letting them come destroy my “paradise.” I expressed my state of being that year in the following lines:

Surround by a crowd,

mixed and loud.

Yet, on an island alone,

the roar of ocean my groan.

If I was willing to listen to my own words at the time, I would have realized the island was actually the opposite of paradise.

Though I was well liked by this “crowd,” was athletic, a successful student, and had a good life generally, I pushed it all away for a life of loneliness and eventually developed numerous food intolerances, chronic fatigue, and fought despair. Despite extensive testing, doctors were not able to diagnose the cause of my poor health. They weren’t able to because the disease stemmed from my heart. The isolation created a scurvy-like condition both spiritually and physically.

Author Erwin McManus says, “For us to be healthy we must be a part of others.”

We were made to love others.

By me refusing to let my heart off the island to give love to others, I also was not allowing God to reach me across the sea of my raging emotions. The Bible instructs, “Let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves…knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love” and “whoever does not love abides in death” (1 John 4:7, John 3:14, NIV).

Therein lay my problem – I abided in death for a year by living without loving as we are commanded to do, and thus cut my connection with God Himself, the very source of vitality and hope I so desperately needed. Therefore, the worse danger to our hearts is not the hurt and pain others inflict upon us, but what we choose to do to our own hearts.

Upon realizing my sickness oozed from the very core of my being, I had to make a choice: would I keep hiding away from society and the pain loving can cause, or would I allow God to rescue me from the deserted island and bring me back to the mainland of LIFE! I can write this today because I chose the latter, and slowly my body, mind, and spirit are all returning to health. By letting my heart open up and love others, and give, and serve, I have opened it up to being loved, being served, and being healed by Jesus. Now, I can testify that a life without giving of ourselves leaves us buried beneath the depths of our own loneliness and emotions.

Today, if you are living on your own deserted island, take a lesson from me and don’t stay an entire year, letting your heart die bit by bit. Choose to emerge from the isolation…choose this moment to love and be loved.